May 8, 2010 - Chance, Luck

I've noticed that for a long time, my parents have always taken the safe route. They constantly make sure that nothing can go wrong, and try to make sure the worse can never happen, but what happens when it ends up falling flat? What if bad luck rolls their way and they're unable to stop it? They've planned to stop it from happening, so won't they be so unprepared for when it does?

So why don't they ever take a chance? Why must they always take the safe route? They never venture into new things without someone else trying it first (which is why it took them so long to buy certain items, cept for the sham-wow, that shit was ours before the sham-wow guy, that's right, be jealous), which for me, is a huge set-back.

Being a business person, we HAVE to take risks, we have to take some sort of chance and make it happen. So what am I to do, growing up in such a safe environment? How will they ever understand my decisions in life? If the sentence doesn't always show that I want to learn more through school, fat chance they'll accept it.

Which is why I probably will never tell them "i want to be an artist, I want to move to New York/Paris by myself, and hone my skills as an artist". My thoughts is that they'll never accept it. Which is why I liked business so much, it's safe because I'm not bad at it, and frankly I THINK i can excel at it.

Oh well, Guess I'm just unlucky.

-Canon Ma

Still don't have Photoshop yet, I'll re-upload this photo, maybe then you can tell just how much Photoshop can enhance a photo's meaning :D.

May 7, 2010 - Gundams, Camera, Uncle

Although I can't take a picture of him, this post is definitely dedicated to my uncle back in Hong Kong.(Mom's youngest brother)

Gundams! Why? I don't know really, but why do I post about anything at all? These 3 gundams have been in a glass display thing at home for the longest time, and I had to bring them out because no, I didn't want to play with them (although I did in the past...my fight display was wiiiicked). But it was because the display was getting crowded and my gundams deserve better than that. :D

These gundams have all been bought by my uncle. He's reaally cool. Everytime we go back he's always so excited to show us around and show is affection for me and my brother through the purchasing of materialistic goods (My Canon EOS 30D was one of them). But the most important thing he probably gave me is the chance to become an actual photographer.

I would never ask my parents (not in a million years) for a thousand dollar camera (hell, i don't even want to ask them for a 300 dollar camera) because i know they'll do it, even if it kills them. So the fact that my uncle saw my huge interest in photography is actually really...iunno, inspiring?

This camera is like a reminder to me of just how hard i should try to not only try to excell in photography (as a hobby, of course), but also it's a constant reminder to me that someone, besides my parents, believe in me, something that is so hard to attain in life.

So even though im sure he can't see this entry, this entry is for him, and the next time i go back to HK, I'll definitely have a shot of him, instead of these gundams.

-Canon Ma

I actually had like.. 10-15 different gundams, of all different sizes and types, too bad i had to throw some away. Also, I formated my comp (for the 2nd time this year.. dammit) so i have no Photoshop yet...so this time i couldn't give it a watermark, good thing it's not a picture worth stealing.

May 6, 2010 - Ian Yu

"Doesn't your balls hurt?"
"I'm not sitting on them."

I only said that part so that no one asks why he's sitting like that.

Anyways, say hello to my lido friend... Ian Yu (I'm guessing no one got that movie reference).  I met this guy so long time ago i don't even know when i did meet him. I just know the reason we met was because we lived SO close to each other. We both lived on the same floor of the same building, and only 1 suite apart (i was 1012, he was 1010). 

I'll admit right now, I did some terrible things i'm not proud of to him. For 1 or 2 years i was a total ass to him, actions unspeakable of, and i regret doing so. However, we've been good friends ever since and he's never held it on my head so i guess he's cool with it?

I guess that's one of the qualities about him that everyone can learn from. He has the ability to forgive everything that comes his way, and he's chill about everything (qualities i wasn't even able to notice until someone else told me). No matter how much we insult him about what a murderous person he looks like 50% of the time or how he can walk about the city like he's floating, he takes it in stride. He laughs with you instead of giving your dirty looks, or reciprocates the insult. 

But at times I hate it when I know people are personally hurting him, but he just takes it. He (along with another one of my friends) gets openly insulted, but because they are unable to see just how how much they mean the insult, they laugh instead of being offended. And i just have to sit there and not do nething because it'll break the very stupid but delicate social standard. Insult, or be insulted (of course, this is with regards to our Toronto friends.... People from Hamilton are so much nicer)

There's a lot of topics to talk about really about Ian, he and I surprisingly have a lot of history (surprising because i didn't think we would). Sadly I don't want to blog that long. Lets just sum this up.

Knife. Mom. Patience. PS3. Starcraft. FINAL FANTASY (yee yee).

- Canon Ma

May 5, 2010 - Cards

It was a bit wierd when I had to clear our my stuff. Mom told me that i should throw away everything that i don't use anymore, or nothing that would benefit me in the future.

So i went through and wow, i realized so many of these things are forgotten. It's like going to through a box of old stuff and remembering your childhood. Cept this is more depressing.. because things have to be thrown out.

There assignments, course booklets, textbooks, tests, and even old black and white photograph paper (which i should donate to my high school). And then i hit a huge part of my childhood (mmm 3-4 years?).

Cards.

Anycard you can imagine basically, so bare with me and try to understand that i don't play them nemore. Pokemon cards and Yu-Gi-Oh cards (both of which i have less then originally planned because i gave a lot away). and bam, motherload, Magic cards. 

I probably accumulated, don't laugh, around $500 worth of cards originally (value of cards might be higher or lower then expected), and damn, i really don't wanna throw them away. It feels like this whole process of cleaning and throwing away stuff is cleaning away what little past i remember of myself.

A person recently asked me to talk to them about my past. And it was...so hard. I couldn't think of any interest or hobbies or anything related to my past, and the main reason is probably because i do throw away EVERYTHING from my past.

From simple birthday cards, to unusable gadgets. I (and probably a lot of other people) probably just thought that by throwing these stuff away, we are moving on with our lives to newer, fresher things, and also, not only to unclutter the physical aspects of our lives, but also the mind. 

But did anyone really know that by throw away things that we deem worthless in the present, what effect it'll have on us trying to remember the past?

I recently said in the last post that the past is what makes us who we are in the present, but if we had a constant renewal of our lives, is it possible for our present status to be completely irrelevant to our past?

Because of my fear that this is true, i'm going to keep some of these worthless cards. Maybe they're useless now, but whenever i need to slow down and just mull on the past. I can just pick up some of these cards and think about all the years I've wasted (but still had fun) playing with pieces of paper.

And i think everyone else should really think twice before throwing something out that you have some past with. You never know when you might wanna slow down,  pick up something from ur past, and just fall under nostalgia.

-Canon Ma

Hey guys, sorry i wasn't able to post anything for sooo long. I recently...broke my camera.. kind of. It still can take photographs and everything, but there is a problem with it that makes me look it at times and sigh a bit. It's THAT depressing. I should be able to post things...but...I don't know if it'll be daily for awhile.